Monday, October 4
Forever - by Floacist & Musiq Soulchild
Love the new song, and I LOOOOOOVE her look. For years, I have secretly wished I had the confidence to shave my head bald and just forget about hair. I find it so beautiful. Not necessarily in looks, but inner beauty. Confidence. It just radiates. I want that. Locs give me some freedom - from doing much with my hair that is, but I'm talking true freedom. I'm talking SKI-BALD.
I just don't have the guts.
I know this because when I did the "big chop" (cut off my relaxed hair to reveal my natural hair) eight years ago I was left with roughly 1-2 inches of hair and I immediately put my hair in braid extensions, and I kept getting it done for months until I felt like I had enough hair to wear it out in the world. I thought without hair, I looked like a 12 year old boy. (forgive me for this completely, un-PC quote: I said to Hubby that I looked like Lee Malvo)
But it really made me see me. I could not hide behind my hair. It was a different feeling. At the time I was not ready. Today though, I need to go there again, something is in there (here?) getting lost day by day. I'm ready, but "my world" is not.
A few years later it started getting too long for me to handle so I loc'd it at the urging of hubby. I really wanted to cut it off again. But I can't. Hair is too easy when you have lots of it. Its a distraction. Hubby (like most Black men. like most people) is hung up on long hair. Not so sure what would happen at work, I'm a presenter/Instructor. My mom might seek an intervention for me, etc...
Hubbs was so mad when kiddo cut off her locs. Now SHE (kiddo) on the other hand, loves her short afro hairstyle. She was able to see her and she loooves it. Rightly so. While she is looking forward to growing it out long again, un-loc'd, she is unwilling to get extensions in the meantime! I still put her in them to give her a break during basketball tournaments. My youngest sister, wears her hair natural and shorn, but she looks like a model so she don't count.
But I can dream, especially now that I have a new "muse." Maybe I can get the nerve one day. It's only freedom.
(P.S. I still miss Floetry tho)