You conform to what society says and I conform to me
Looking for light in the corners getting caught in the spider web
You look at me as if I'm giving a performance when I'm just feeding my head
And you know that I'm doing all right
And I won't explain myself to you just to avoid a fight
How I'm living ain't correct but for me it's just right
I'm not completely insane, I'm maybe just a little bit crazy
Lyrics from "Crazy" by Alana Davis
This post is more of a diary entry to air out my conflicting feelings on my sewing skills. Ultimately it's no big deal, but sometimes when I hear/read about how others are doing on the sewing blogs & boards it stirs me up a little bit. Sometimes I feel like I'm not "up to snuff" with my sewing, like I know I can be.
I pride myself on my sewing skills and being able to produce wearable and well made garments. I totally understand garment construction and I'm genuinely attracted to all things fashion and sewing. Sometimes I'm so desperate I watch the sewing machine demos on HSN (albeit with major side eye.) I feel like a super star when I receive compliments on my blog and in person and even better when I am wearing an RTW garment and someone who knows I sew asks if I've made it.
Reading about "couture" and "advanced fitting" techniques is truly enjoyable, and know I can do those things if I tried. I have learned and tried some really awesome things just by self study (not on any garment, just for fun. Truth is, I hardly ever employ them unless they contribute to the "sturdiness" of the garment. I make sure I do enough fit adjustments to not have me looking like a stuffed sausage. I barely read the pattern instructions: b-o-r-i-n-g, I'll just figure it out and do my own thing or look someting up in a pinch. Truth is I refuse to hand sew and try to avoid it whenever I possible can. I wear a lot of loose fit anyway, so unless I have some major potato sack-age, gaping or my rolls are showing, I don't bother doing any super custom fitting. Truth is realizing these things makes me feel like I'm not doing things the right way. and then I feel like I just want to get this thing made so I can wear it.
While in progress, I really don't care if the inside of my garment is as nice as the outside. I just make sure all the seams are neat and strong and that there's no fraying. Hand hemming - really? I use the machine blind hem in a heartbeat, it works and looks fine to me. I don't line anything unless the fabric is flimsy or it will be dry-cleaned - a rarity. I have learned the lesson about using quality fabrics, but I really feel like if it's sewn well and cared for well, it will last - even if it is polyester. (go polyester! yes roll ur eyes, lol.)
But then when I see other seamstress do couture techniques - even on simple garments - I am awestruck, motivated and then deflated because I felt like I shoulda-coulda done that.... But when the time comes to I sew, I just get in the zone. I just try to have a great time and make sure things are lined up well and don't fall apart. Does this make me a bad seamstress? Lazy? Can I even call myself a real seamstress? Impatient? How can I get the motivation to slow it down? What is my real skill level if I don't really practice any major techniques so I'm actually getting better? Am I being too sensitive?
Thanks for listening/reading.